Popping the bubble

Last night the emergency phone call to the oncology ward put my feet straight back on the floor. Pierced the bubble with a loud * pop * and cleared my overwhelmed mind. Armed to my teeth I realized that the battle is on again.

When I was finally ready to go to bed and switch off the light, I all of a sudden recalled the two wellies waiting for Saint Nicholas. I burst out laughing - the first loud laugh in days! - and hurried back to the kitchen. I wrapped presents, hid chocolate coins in the living room and was grateful that my spirit was instantly lifted by this Saint's tradition.

Today at preschool I found Big Brother singing as loudly as he could in front of a paper chimney, covered with paper crafted shoes. He was completely under Saint Nicholas' spell and didn't notice me entering.
My eyes filled with tears and I remembered how Big Brother made his first painting ever in preschool last year, one of Saint Nicholas. That portrait of the saint was an interesting collection of brush strokes..., this year's is a decently painted one within the lines. Singing in public? It took Big Brother forever to join the preschool group in their daily good-bye song and rhyme. Seeing how he has found his own safe place away from his trusted home made me sooo proud.

I needed the warmth inside my heart as fuel for the upcoming battle. Either the new stem cells that are misbehaving badly or an unknown infection: I'm ready to face the enemy.