Future

I am alive.
I am healthy.
I am strong.

Being alive, from the simplest effortless breath to the most intense confrontation with the evanescent, made me feel guilty for a long time. Because, surely, I did look death in the eye, but it wasn't my life that was on the line on a daily basis.
Only now I realize that 'being alive' means 'being in life'. Living. Acting. Changing. Growing. Laughing. Moving from one minute to the other, but with a vast perspective. 'I am alive' in consequence equals 'I have a future ahead of me'.

And all because I am healthy. Over the past year I haven't called in sick for one single day. There was no one to call to, no one to cover - yet at the same time my body performed miraculously well. A stunning 365 days without even a hint of fever.

I've proven my strength. To myself, and maybe unintentionally to others as well. Cancer has made so many aspects of my old life disappear, though I have gained a deep sense of trust. Belief in my capabilities and my vision. If only those finds could make up for what I've lost. Nevertheless, on the eve of the first anniversary of acute lymphoblastic leukemia, it dawns on me that me and my future are definitely worth fighting for too.